Some lesson learned

Hi everyone, i am very bad at keeping up with my post so ive been doig this thing where i "write when im drunk, edit when im sober." Not necessarily drunk from alcohol, but drunk in emotions and thoughts. Its an advice i received somewhere probably in twitter, and it really helped lol.

Okay so, this one i wrote yesterday but ive been wanting to talk about it probably since January.

18/3/18- Hey its 1130 pm now. I wanna write about how mad i was at a friend of mine. I may have told you this long ago, so you might understand who am I talking about. But if you dont, nevermind. Long story short, this person ditched me to study with his girlfriend during a very important exam. And "why cant i study with anyone else?" you may ask, is because its a paper that only minority of us took and apparently he took it too. Side note, i already asked him before he told me he was ditching me. So, being this emotional person i am, i told almost everyone  about it. I badmouthed him. It was really horrible but back then i dont even care. He told me he was sorry one day, out of nowhere in December during the break. But he didnt state why, so I shrugged it off. And I guess that made me mad a lil bit more.

Just now, i was feeling so emotional and empty, so i went to pray because i didnt perform my isya' yet. Suddenly, i had this overwhelming feeling about everything that is happening in my life right now and out of nowhere i remembered him. I was haunted by this huge guilt i couldnt explain. Is my ego worth the friendship we used to have? We just started to become close and now we cant stand being near each other. I know i have to apologies before it is too late, because it had been almost 3 months and we cant even say hi to each other everytime. Even once at a camp we went on my birthday, we didnt bother talking to each other at all despite of being in the same group. That was how distant we had been.

So, i had a decision to make. I asked my friends, who didnt know the story behind all this, for opinions on what i should do with my guilt. And they told me to apologies and talk things out, about why i was mad at him in the first place. And that is exactly what i did. Though, it wasnt easy. I was shaking, and trembling, and sobbing. It wasnt something im good at, heck i dont even remember the last time i genuinely said sorry to someone. 

And I guess I was lucky that he was cool with it. He told me he knew that i was telling everyone and he was mad. But after a he said sorry that December, he held no grudge on me. He said that he avoided me these couple of months because he was embarrased and scared that i might hated him. And when we talked a lil bit, i felt like the guilt i was carrying had lifted off my shoulder. 

So, just like a friend of mine said before, in order to move on, you have to forgive yourself. And in order to forgive yourself, you have to forgive others :') So, i am looking forward until the next time i meet him, because then ill know if we're good to be friends again with each other.

Back at it again, lol

bismillahirahmanirrahim, hello peeps.
so, it'd been a while since my last post, 2-3 years to be exact? hahahaha well, I am back now u know. and its for good :) okay, maybe I'm gonna 'try' to keep up with posting regularly. to new people who discovered my blog, welcome. I used to post a few posts but its too cringey I had to delete it lol.

currently, I'm in college. yup, good ol farah had grew up and go to college. already. I left school a year early and started my a-levels, which I planned to talk about it later in my next blog. life had been great. I had made best decisions in my life and I'm very greatful for it.

when I'm writing this, its almost midnight. and its near my bestfriend, mir's birthday. so, if ure reading this, happy birthday! I love u so much, stay amazing. talking about midnight, I actually should be studying for my finals now. yea I almost forgot to tell, I'm almost finish my first semester yay!

so I guess i'll get going now. I promise myself to write more so stay tuned. and I need to do something about my header. its looks so 2015 lol. have a nice day anyways. goodnight x


Hello peeps
Hahahaha idk what im doing rn i think im gonna start blogging again *claps
I had so much in my mind for sure 

But i dont know where to start hahaha
Im not good at words like my friends but im trying to be cool in writing ok 
Hahahaha well at least im good in fantasies YAY 
But rn idk what to write act lol 

Tomorrow is christmas yet im not christian so i dont celebrate it hah
But tomorrow is my lovely qt grandma's birthday woohoo

Lets get it straight, 
Im a complicated girl 
I wanna be a energetic-fun type of person yet wanna be treated like a lady
Lol just like everyone else
I guess this blog is gonna be about what me, my life, my opinions idk

I guess thats all im wanna say for this first entry 
HAHAHAHAHA btw pls dont mind cse i laugh a lot 
Bye :)